Are you actively trying to shake things at work by challenging the status quo? Are you trying to get your group or organization to accept your new ideas and strategies? Are you just trying to get your family change their holiday plans or are you actively working to change some aspect of your relationship? Even though change is inevitable and has a potential for positive improvements, people still fear it all the time. Change is very hard for many people to accept.
Life can be a hard pill to swallow. On a daily basis, we are consumed with regrets, failures and insecurities that plague our minds and control our actions. We are overwhelmed by situations we cannot change and things we wish we could take back. We experience heartbreak, loss and fear, along with betrayal, jealousy and bad memories. However, life doesn’t have to be so hard. You shouldn’t be choking on life. All you need is water, a good mindset and an understanding between the things that can be changed and the things that must be accepted.
Our lives are in a constant state of transition. Life is always moving forward; nothing ever remains the same. To a greater or lesser degree, we are continually being transported--whether suddenly or gradually--into the new, the different, the unexpected, or the untried.
In my life, all the big things happened because of my willingness to embrace change. Changes connected with moving from one country to another made me more open minded, understand cultural differences and appreciate diversity.
Each of the career shifts brought knowledge and new experiences. As a result, apart from the professional experience I learned how to resolve conflicts with difficult colleagues and how to work with unbearable bosses.
Career related changes brought self-confidence. All those changes led me to the realization of what I wanted to do with my life.
People usually avoid changes and prefer to stay in their comfort zones, but I am true believer that once you get the courage and take the first step to change, your life will become much better.
Once I attended management coaching session, and met some distinguished personalities. I asked the same question to three different coaches: “how can you make people to accept change?” I was very eager to listen to different views and approaches to see what worked for them.
One of them suggested “change the things you cannot accept…if nothing works, rely on serenity prayers”, the other coach suggested “understand why people resist change, and the third coach advised “Be prepared to change the change”
I was really intrigued to see that all had different answers but they all reflected the wisdom of truth behind change.
Accept the things you can’t change, change the things you can’t accept.
There are some things, like the weather and the stock market that you cannot change. However, there’s always something you can do. If you hate the cold, move to Hawaii. If you hate losing money in the stock market, start a company that will get you big earnings.
If you absolutely can’t accept something, then you must make bold moves to change it. However, the sooner you start accepting the things you cannot change, the happier you will be. The more you change the things you refuse to accept, the greater person you will become.
Understand why they may resist
If you want someone to accept change, you must first understand why they may resist. By anticipating their likely reaction to your plan or proposal, you can make intelligent decisions about how to introduce the change.
Let’s face it; most people prefer predictability and stability in both their personal and professional lives. So, people typically avoid situations that upset the order of things, threaten their self-interests, increase stress, or involve risks. When faced with changes to the status quo, people usually resist initially.
Let’s accept it; Change is an emotional experience;
Understanding normal emotional responses to change can help you anticipate reactions. The initial response to change is often negative. People seem to automatically scan a new situation for anything that is not to their benefit. Then they complain about it.
The main reason for negative reactions to change is that people always lose something. You may gain as well, but a loss is always involved. When you get promoted, you gain a better title, higher pay, and more recognition – but you lose your the feeling of comfort and competence from your previous job. When you get married, you gain a loving life partner (hopefully), but you take a hit in the areas of freedom and autonomy. And when you have a child, you gain one of life's greatest blessings, but you definitely lose money, time, and sleep
It is normal to resist change - People fight against change because they:
don't think that the change makes sense, or
don't understand the change and its implications, or
fear the unknown, or
fear to lose something they value, or
don't want to leave their comfort zone, or
avoid the unexpected by staying with the comfortable, or
find it difficult to cope with either the level or pace of the change.
Let’s believe it; Change is a process, not an event
It is easy to see changes in nature occurring as a process. Whether it is a caterpillar turning into a butterfly, or winter shifting into spring, we can easily appreciate the process of change. But when we begin changing our organization with projects and initiatives, we often forget the fact that change does not happen instantaneously because there was an announcement, a kick-off meeting or even a go-live date. Individuals do not change simply because they received an email or attended a training program. When we experience change, we move from what we had known and done, through a period of transition to arrive at a desired new way of behaving and doing our job.
Let’s plan it; Acceptance requires planning.
Be aggressive in addressing instances where you see resistance. If you want people to accept change, you need to invest time in planning and communication. All too often, managers and colleagues (or parents and spouses, for that matter) just throw a change out there and expect others to say, “Well, that's just dandy.” These people are living in a fantasy world. To get others to accept change, the first step is to understand what, from their perspective; they feel that they are losing. If you can first empathize with their feelings, then begin to compensate for their loss, you have taken a giant first step towards acceptance.
Be prepared to change the change
Just as employees resist change, sometimes we fail to realize that our own changes aren't working the way we want them to. Assuming you have the right workers on the right task, solicit their feedback. You have to be prepared to take the advice they give and adjust your own game plan. Sometimes that means mid course corrections. Other times, it means scrapping the plan and starting from scratch. That's not defeat -- it's the ultimate sign that you value the buy-in your employees have for your ideas.
Implementing change is never painless, but it can be a lot less painful for everyone when it is done with empathy and compassion and after thorough analysis, planning, and strategizing.
I believe that our lives should be subject to constant reflection; otherwise our future gets locked into the constraints of today’s thoughts.
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